If only you could decode what I’m trying to encode...

As Jeff Daly once said, ‘Two monologues do not make a dialogue’. This for me sums up effective communication in a nutshell – or rather the lack of it. I speak, you speak, but we fail in conversing with each other. Ineffective communication? Check.

Human beings are often associated with the rather unflattering term ‘social creatures’. Its accuracy though cannot be refuted simply because of an inner instinct within us to be engrossed in the world of people we encounter daily, and an assurance of sorts in knowing that similarly, we are also in the thoughts of people. Interacting with people hence should come as second nature to us. Silly then it would appear the existence of a communication module (jk!). The key here, I’d think, is how effectively we communicate with one another.

At this current stage in my life effective communication serves two purposes; namely to forge new friendships and maintain existing relationships as well as to lay the stepping stones for an eventually successful, rewarding career. Relationships wise I’d like to use this post to highlight family bonds, one that’s delicately poised. My parents are products of the hard-line, iron-fisted upbringing of the past and they practise conservatism in many aspects of life. This doesn’t necessarily imply a negative connotation as I credit much of my better qualities to the consequences of that. Needless to say though, there has been many an occasion where my brother and I have run into disputes over countless of issues with them. From the parents’ point of view, I guess they’d understand why some animals eat their young and from my side, well why the rest flee from home :P. In all parent – teen conversations, there comes a point when the young don’t know what age and experience is and the old simply forget what youth was. I’m positive that many amongst us would bear testament to this situation and the prime reason always boils down to a generation gap. How do we get past this communication barrier then? Because more importantly, parenting is woven into my future fabric and the last thing I’d want is to be scarred by those animal planet visions of consuming your own.

Communication skills are also a vital cog in the professional wheel, be it in the stressful setting of facing a panel of grim looking interviewers or a more informal one in writing up cover letters and resumes or even publicly addressing an expectant crowd. As far as public speakers go, history has thrown up its fair share of idols. Hitler, Martin Luther King, John F Kennedy are just some names that roll off the tongue. More recently, a new age speaker was thrust into America’s spotlight and emerged from it unscathed at the same time capturing the awe of the global audience – Barack Obama. Impressive was the way he used his speeches solely to battle against racial prejudice, his major obstacle. Dwindling poll numbers due to certain unpopular policies and the occasional ‘Special Olympics’ gaffe on the Leno show aside, give the man a mike and he’s bound to take you for a ride. How does he do it? Apart from getting first hand tips from Barack himself, here’s to hoping that Brad is the next better option :D

I was once able to convince a Caucasian lady into parting with her 100 dollars for a fundraising event aimed at reaching out to the unprivileged kids. What was very memorable about it (besides the amount) was the fact that I felt I was running into a wall repeatedly throughout the few minutes of persuading her to donate. Eventually whilst handing out the cash, she smiled and commented on how I had the gift of the gab. That same gab inexplicably transforms into a gap which seems a bridge too far when it comes to explaining to interviewers on why I am the best man for their job or scholarship. It’s not tantamount to a 100% failure rate but yes there is a tendency to remember more vividly the failed attempts. On reflection I ask myself why is it more difficult to sell myself to companies as opposed to convincing people to part with their money. My mom says I’m better off a salesman than an engineer. ES2007S please disprove that logic.

As I mentioned earlier, communication should come almost as a reflex action to mankind. Therein lies its vulnerability though. True to reflex motions, sometimes we respond inappropriately immediately, passing our own judgments without actively listening and taking due consideration of others’ feelings. After which we’re left wondering how to have better responded.

And so, I took up effective communications, in a bid to find answers to the many questions posed above and more. A path towards self-discovery? Check.